Saving Everest Page 18

  “So? You think you can bribe me? I wanted to watch it now.” Manny all but rolled his eyes. “You better provide snacks and refreshments,” Manny said sternly before leaning back on the couch with a sigh.

  I sat between Everest and Manny. I didn’t know what it was, but the essence of the room was very comfortable. Maybe it was our full bellies, or the warmth in the cold, or how close we were together, but everything seemed right. I was content in the state I was in.

  “Beverly.” My body was being shaken. I forced my eyes open. My mother hovered over me; her nicotine smell had returned to her scent.

  “Everest.” She then moved to the sleeping Everest, so we could be separated. My head was resting on his shoulder as Manny’s head rested on my lap.

  “If he’s so tired, then it’s time to go home.”

  I rubbed my eyes so I couldn’t see who’d spoken, but I didn’t have to see to know it was my aunt Macy.

  Everest yawned and looked at his phone to check the time. “It’s really that late?”

  “Yeah, we’ve been gone for three hours. Stopped by a friend’s house,” Macy explained.

  “Geez,” I sighed. We’d wasted our time sleeping when we could’ve been doing something the three of us would actually remember.

  “Beverly, go and help Everest find his way out,” my mother told me while taking off her shoes.

  Everest stood up and stretched, while Macy grabbed Manny and handed him his coat, assisting him in putting it on. Manny hugged Everest to say good-bye and Macy followed afterward. Shortly after that, it was just Everest and me. My mom stayed in the apartment to clean up a bit while I walked him to his car. The air was crackling from the cold, and the sky was dark.

  The moon illuminated the slow smile that tugged on Everest’s lips.

  “What?” The words floated out of my mouth on a cloud.

  “Thanks for this.”

  “You can’t be serious,” I laughed. My mother had been completely inappropriate, as I’d figured she would be. Macy had grilled him the whole time and Manny had held a consistent sassy attitude throughout the whole event. He complained about anything he could think of. I personally had no problem with it because it was what I was used to, but for Everest, I was sure it was a lot for him to chew on, to hear Manny’s constant complaints.

  “No, I am. I enjoyed myself,” he told me without a second thought.

  I hugged him after that. It just seemed like the appropriate thing to do. I would never get tired of hugging Everest. The feeling I got every time he pulled me in closer or when my hand landed directly over his heart was a feeling that I was addicted to.

  “I’m thankful for you,” he said so softly that I barely caught it. His arms squeezed me once before he released me, then turned on his heel and got into his car.

  “I’m thankful for you too,” I called as he drove away, not missing the smile on his face.

  Upon returning to the apartment, I realized my mom hadn’t done much. I wasn’t all that surprised, though—cleaning wasn’t her favorite hobby.

  “Did he kiss you before he left?” my mom asked from the kitchen. I looked over to find her digging in the pans, and I shook my head.

  “Why would he do that? We’re just friends. I told you.”

  “I see the way that boy looks at you.” My mother sucked on her teeth.

  “Oh sure,” I laughed as I began helping her clean. I started with the living room and grabbed the photo album we had gone through earlier. I knew she’d assumed Everest and I were romantic because of our closeness. I was convinced that no boy would ever love me. They hadn’t before and I didn’t see when they’d start. I’d kind of become accustomed to being alone.

  “You have him wrapped around your finger and you don’t even realize,” she said from the kitchen. I shook my head as I placed the photo album on the bookshelf nearby, but when I tried to slide it in, it wouldn’t fit. The photo album did have a large binding, so I pushed some books to the side to create space, but in doing so, I knocked over some books at the end of the shelf.

  “What are you doing in there?” my mother called from the kitchen, but right as I was about to answer, I noticed a bunch of envelopes spill out of our household Bible.

  My stomach flipped as I turned over the book, exposing the envelopes—they were all from colleges.

  “Beverly?”

  I didn’t answer my mother and instead pulled out the first letter.

  Congratulations, Beverly! We are pleased to announce you’ve been accepted . . .

  Next one.

  “Dear Beverly . . . Congrat— . . . inform you of your admission”

  The next one I opened so fast that I ended up ripping the envelope.

  Congratulations!

  We are pleased to inform you of your admission . . .

  My head hummed with a thick cloud of oblivion. I looked up at my mother, standing against the wall near the kitchen. Her hand was over her mouth, and concern was strung through her eyebrows. This couldn’t be real. I knew it wasn’t. It wasn’t real. It was so ridiculous that all I could do was laugh. It was a joke. It had to be a joke.

  “What is this?” I stared down at the letters clutched hard in my hand. I realized then that I was shaking. “Mom?” I could feel the tears building in my eyes, but I blinked them back. “Mom?” I asked again when she wouldn’t answer me.

  “I am so, so sorry, Beverly.” She choked on her words, and it was then that I knew it wasn’t a joke.

  I felt like I was close to throwing up. I hugged my knees and hung my head low. In that darkness I tried to calm myself down. My heart hurt, like it was being slashed by a hundred thumbtacks. The sight of my mother crying suddenly made my blood turn hot.

  “You know what? You don’t get to cry. Explain.” The tone of my voice shocked me. I wiped my face of the tears, even though a few still dribbled out of my eyes.

  When she didn’t make any move to explain, I nudged her shoulder. “You owe that to me.”

  She lifted her head slowly, her cheeks already puffing up from crying. “Bever—” She reached for me but I moved out of the way.

  “I said you owe it to me. Why—” My voice filled with intense emotion and the tears began to build up again, so I let out a deep breath. “Why would you do that?” I asked after I swallowed down the pain and was able to get my words out.

  “You wouldn’t understand.” I’d never heard my mother sound so broken before.

  “So tell me! Make me understand.” My ears rang from me raising my voice. The feeling of anger swirled in every inch of my body. The room pulsated at a rapid rate and all I wanted was for my head to stop spinning.

  My mother dropped her head low again and cried, tears streaming down her face and making lakes on her sweater.

  “I’m not ready for you to go.” She tried to approach me. “I can’t do it without you.”

  “God, I’ve got to get out of here. I can’t stay here.” I grabbed my coat from the rack and started for the door before my mother hopped in front of it.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Anywhere but here,” I responded. “Did you really think I wasn’t going to find out?”

  “No,” she stated simply, her eyes wild.

  My emotions amplified tenfold. “I hate you.”

  The words slipped out before I could stop them. My mother flinched and then anger took root on her features. “If you walk out of that door, don’t even think about coming back.”

  My mother stood back from the door, waiting for me to make the next call. She’d always been so in control. Even when she was drunk her air of confidence never wavered, but seeing her now was different. For the first time in my life, my mother looked lost and helpless—like a child who’d just got caught stealing from the cookie jar.

  The moment was tense, and for a second, I saw nerv
ousness swimming in her irritated eyes before a confident stance stood in them.

  “Don’t wait up,” I said, shocking my mother and myself as I opened the door and walked out into the autumn cold.

  I didn’t know where to go, I just knew where I didn’t want to go—no way did I want to bother Everest with this. He was so happy with the way the day had turned out, and I just couldn’t ruin that for him. I actually didn’t want to bother anyone with this. I walked, and cried, and walked some more, and cried some more, looking for somewhere to get away for a bit, until I landed at the garage that was designed just for that.

  30

  Everest

  Confession: I could relive this day over and over again.

  —EF, November 22, 2018

  Everything about Beverly’s family was the opposite of mine. Her family was raw and unorganized, not fitting into any specialized boxes. My family, on the contrary, did everything they could to fit into a perfect little box. Hell would freeze over before my family would behave the same way hers did. I loved it. Every second of it, even the awkward scrutiny I got from them. No fronts were made, and the people were real. No doubt, the realist family I’d ever been around in my eighteen years of living. I quite honestly didn’t want to leave.

  Sitting in this large, empty house made me appreciate a crowded home. I heated up a plate of leftover mac ’n’ cheese while thinking of the day’s events. It wasn’t until I finished my last bite that I realized it was my favorite Thanksgiving in the history of all my Thanksgivings.

  I could have written a book about every holiday disaster in my life, ranging from catching my aunt Loren snorting coke in the pantry to discovering my favorite uncle passing away. It was nice to finally have that holiday spirit that everyone seemed to talk about. I caught myself daydreaming about going over her apartment a lot more often—from what I gathered today, I left a decent enough impression to go over more.

  After washing my plate, I began my nightly routine. I was down to just my boxers and socks when my phone rang. Sighing, I removed my socks and sank onto my bed. I was done for the night. It was a rare occasion that I slept well, and for once I was feeling legitimately ready for bed. So I decided to let my phone ring out . . . until it was clear as day that Mikey wasn’t going to stop calling. I groaned when I declined the call and he instantly called back.

  It was the perfect time to sleep—I was in an impeccable mood, my house was quiet due to the fact that I was the only one home, my belly was full, and the tranquility of the night had left me in a state of bliss. So leave it to Mikey to interrupt such a moment.

  “Are you kidding me?” I finally answered the phone.

  “Listen here, you little dipshit, I’ve been calling you because this is important—”

  “This better be important,” I interrupted.

  “This is important. Come down to the Basement.” His tone was harsh.

  “It’s two o’clock and I’m tire—”

  “It’s Beverly, she’s real messed up righ—”

  “What are you talking about?” I sat up in my bed.

  “Look, I just got here after Thanksgiving with my dad, so don’t try and blame shit on me. Sam told me she was hysterical, so he gave her something to take the edge off.”

  My blood boiled instantly. “What the fuck did he give her, Mikey?”

  “Don’t worry, don’t hulk up, I already beat his ass. She’s just loaded, apparently—she was drinking straight from the bottle. But that’s beside the point, something real bad happened to her, Golden Boy. I don’t know what, but something is seriously wrong.”

  “I’m on my way.”

  I pulled up in the driveway to see Sam standing near the entrance of the garage door, holding a bloody rag to his nose. That sight alone clarified that this wasn’t a joke. I let out a deep breath before slowly getting out of my car. When Sam’s eyes landed on me, he laughed a little to himself.

  “Everest to the rescue.”

  My eyes only saw red, and for the second time in my life I punched someone in face.

  Some girl immediately ran over to his side when he fell. He sat up and spit blood out of his mouth before looking at me with a bloody-toothed smile. “I’m actually impressed with that hit. Good work, Golden Boy.”

  I shook my head with disgust before walking through the garage to find Beverly. It didn’t take long—she was lying on the couch, her eyes red and puffy, looking as if she was seconds away from falling asleep. Mikey sat next to her, talking to her, but it was inaudible to me. It was like the pain in her demeanor was the only focus my body would register.

  “Bev.” Her name slipped out of my mouth automatically.

  She looked up at me and a forced smile faintly etched the corners of her mouth. “Oh, hey, Ev.”

  Her words were slow and soft, and the smile was faker than a politician’s.

  “What are you doing here, Beverly?” I asked her hesitantly.

  “What? I can’t have a drink?” She shrugged uncoordinatedly; her speech was slurred.

  Mikey looked at her with a wave of worry. It was almost eerie. The one person who we’d believed could never break was hanging by her hinges before our eyes. Our very own hope was facing her own darkness, and we had no idea why, or what we could do to help.

  “What happened?” Mikey asked her, and I could tell by how she rolled her eyes it wasn’t his first time asking.

  “I’m okay!” she exclaimed with a laugh and a giggle, trying her hardest to convince us she was fine. “I’m okay, guys, stop worrying about me,” she said again but softer, and almost like a sob was caught in her throat but she was trying to suppress it.

  “I’m okay,” she said again for the third time, quickly looking between Mikey and me.

  “No, you aren’t,” Mikey told her.

  Those three words caused her to burst into tears. She used her hand to cover her face and she bent over in sorrow. My heart immediately broke at the sight of it. I walked over to her and grabbed her free hand before squatting down to her level.

  “Let’s get you out of here, okay?” She nodded, and when I stood up, she followed me.

  “Take care of her, bro,” Mikey said, running a hand through his dark hair with a somber look.

  I nodded before leading her out of the garage and to my car. She hadn’t stopped crying, and I didn’t know what to do. I thought that maybe her mom would know how to handle it.

  “I’m taking you home,” I said into the silence.

  “No! I can’t go back there, Ev. Please don’t take me back. I’m never going back.” She spoke with urgency through her tears.

  “What happened?”

  “Please, can you just drive around for a bit?” She hiccupped.

  “You need sleep.”

  “I’m begging you to not take me back. Just trust me, okay?”

  I ended up taking her to my house. She seemed to have calmed herself down but stayed as distant as she could. The occasional tear would dribble from her eyes and she would wipe it off with annoyance. I wondered what made her get like this. She’d been so excited for today and although I didn’t know what had happened, I was very bothered by the fact that something had; she didn’t deserve this.

  Carefully guiding her through my dark and quiet house, I led her to the guest room. She sat on the bed and I sat next to her. I watched as she struggled to keep her emotions together and with each sniffle, my heartstrings shredded.

  “Bev . . . are you gonna tell me what’s wrong?”

  She looked up at me, cheeks and nose tinged with peach. “I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

  “Beverly,” I sighed, stumped with how I should handle the situation.

  Suddenly, she cried out into the silence, sounding like her insides were being torn apart with each passing second. I held her in my arms while she held me tight. Waterfalls of tear
s went down my sweater. She hung on to me like she was going to fall apart, and I wasn’t sure if I could put her back together again.

  “I got you, I got you,” I kept repeating, stroking her hair as she cried into my chest. I could tell she was trying to pull herself together, but it was one of those heart-wrenching cries where you have no control. She tried to take deep breaths but they came out all shaky and distorted. I rubbed her back and tried to comfort her in the best way I could without talking. She needed to cry—she needed to release the powerful emotions running through her, but that didn’t mean that it killed me any less.

  “What did I do to deserve this?” she asked. Her eyes had a hurricane flooded within them. My heart was so heavy, sinking to the bottom of her pain, but I knew I had to be strong for her, because she needed me to be.

  I held her away from me so she could fully see my face and told her what she needed to hear.

  “I’ll never understand why bad things always happen to good people. But I’ll tell you right now that you did nothing wrong. This was completely beyond your control, okay?” I used my thumb to wipe away the single tears falling from both her eyes.

  When I pulled back to look at her, she seemed to have calmed down substantially, which instantly took me back, but nothing could prepare me for what came next. I honestly had no clue what was happening as her face moved closer to mine. She then left an unanticipated soft kiss on my forehead, and I suddenly froze. I didn’t stop her when she did the same to my right cheek and I didn’t stop her when she did it to my left. I just stared at her, my thoughts—blank.

  She scooted closer to me and left another kiss right under my jaw. Her eyes looked at mine each time she finished a kiss but would then stare at the next spot her lips would meet.

  “B-Bev?” I found my voice when she kissed the base of my neck.

  Shhh was all I got from her as she climbed onto me and straddled my lap, leaving a kiss at another part of my neck.

  All of them were pillow-petal soft, and tantalizingly slow. Her lips brushed against my skin before she would leave the gentlest peck in place. I almost felt like I was dreaming, that none of this was happening. I should have stopped her, but I was too frozen to do anything.