Saving Everest Read online

  Won’t be this blue sea . . .

  For just an instant, I wasn’t at the café. I was someplace else, listening to his raspy tone, and watching his face contorted by emotion.

  Lie to me, please . . .

  Everest’s head hung low and his chest expanded as applause shook the room.

  “You okay?” a passing customer asked me. I stared at her, confused, before I felt a tear drop on my hand. Straightening my back, I was surprised when I touched my damp cheek. I hadn’t even realized I was crying; I quickly wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my sweater and told the girl it was just allergies.

  Well, that was embarrassing.

  I cleaned until Everest’s set was over. He chatted with everyone before heading in my direction.

  “I’m just going to grab my jacket from the back room then we can be on our way,” he said to me without stopping, heading straight into the break room.

  “So . . . are you and Everest a thing?” Rose asked. Her question was so low that I barely heard it. I hadn’t even noticed her approach me, but I did notice that she knew his name. He had only been working here for a few weeks and she knew his name. I could actually have cried again.

  “No . . . we’re friends.”

  She’d caught me completely off guard. I got asked this question every day so it wasn’t the question, but her—why would she want to know?

  Her cheeks tinted to the color of her name. “Sorry. You guys just look cute together, so I just thought—now that I know the truth, I don’t feel bad anymore for having a crush.”

  “You like Ev?” I asked quietly, taking a step closer to her so no one could hear us.

  “How could I not?” She smiled, dazed, like the very image of Everest was sitting on her mind. She looked at me and laughed before walking away with a smile on her face.

  “Wow,” I muttered, unsure about how I felt about her confession.

  “Ready?” Everest asked when he returned.

  “Night, Everest,” Rose said. He smiled in return.

  “As I’ll ever be,” I sighed.

  “So, what’s the plan?” I asked as we pulled into a gas station.

  “First things first, we have to get food, and this is the only place open.” He opened my door for me and flashed me a side-smile.

  It was late; the sky was superdark with no stars. The only light was from the full moon and the bright, obnoxious sign from the gas station. It didn’t matter how many times I’d been out late, it always felt like the first time.

  Everest must have had the munchies, because he had so many treats. He told me to get whatever I wanted, and the only thing I picked up were a few candy bars and a bag of chips. When we reached the counter, I saw just how much junk he’d got. The counter was full of sweet and salty snacks. He even took it upon himself to get some food from the hot section.

  “Geez, Everest.”

  I stared at all the food the cashier was ringing up. He was lanky with greasy hair and a face that screamed that he hated his job. He said, “That’ll be forty-three and forty-three cents. Cash or credit?”

  Everest stared at him for a moment before slapping a crisp bill on the counter. “Cash.”

  The cashier’s eyes grew to the size of saucers, and I saw that Everest had given him a hundred-dollar bill. Everest gathered the bags nonchalantly and headed to the door, holding it open with his back, not even waiting for his change.

  “C’mon, Bev.” Everest nudged his head toward his car outside, and I hadn’t realized I was still standing in the same place.

  “Wait, sir, you gave me too much.” The lanky cashier’s back straightened and he held the change out to Everest.

  “Keep it,” was all Everest said before we both left the gas station. I wondered what it must feel like to have financial freedom. Two of those bills would have been a single paycheck at 21 Daisies. I knew that I probably would never get to that level of life. College was my only option. I needed to get accepted. I’d spent all summer working—working on my art submissions and saving as much money as I could so I could be more. So I could do more.

  “How long till we get there?”

  The longer we drove, the deeper I dove into my thoughts. We had been driving forever but I didn’t mind. Late night drives were good for the soul. I couldn’t really explain why, because even with all the words I could have used to describe it, I’d never come close. The wind, the dark, that feeling of escape. Tranquility and peace followed you around like a lost puppy. Going somewhere all while going nowhere—man, there was nothing like it. It was almost like you were free and like some cool adventurer, not belonging to any city and nothing owning you. I didn’t know; I couldn’t really explain it well.

  “Pa—”

  “If you say patience one more time.”

  He laughed. “I wasn’t!!”

  “You’re such a liar.” I snorted amid my words.

  “Nah, I was joking. It’s right around this corner.” I looked through the car window at an unfamiliar setting—this wasn’t our town. Having never been out of town before, I’d have been lying if I said I wasn’t exhilarated.

  We pulled up to a large building. “Where are we?”

  “You’ll see.” He hopped out of the car and grabbed the bags. I followed his lead to a building that looked closed, like everything else. Everest pulled a set of keys out of his back pocket, fit one in the lock, and twisted it.

  His eyebrows furrowed as he set the bags down and tried the lock again—with no luck.

  “Seems like someone changed the lock . . .”

  “We drove all the way out here and I won’t be able to see what this place is. Darn. I guess we’re going back home then . . .”

  Everest turned to look at me with a “what” expression.

  “No, that just means we have to break in,” he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

  My eyes grew big and I started to back up. “No.”

  “Bev, relax. You’ll never be in danger if you’re with me,” Everest reassured me with a side-smile.

  This was bad.

  “It’ll be fine. I promise,” he told me, grabbing my hand.

  “I’m scared,” I said, letting the truth be told.

  “Think about it. If I had a key to this place, is it really breaking in? Trust me. I was scared when you made me sing in front of everyone for the first time, but I trusted you and look at me now. Sometimes the things that scare you can actually be beautiful.”

  We jogged behind the building to a back door. It was locked and so were all of the in-reach windows.

  “Wait, look, that window is open,” he said, but we couldn’t reach it, so that wouldn’t work. “Here, give me your foot, I’ll give you a boost.”

  Wait, what.

  I calmed myself down and trusted Everest. I took a deep breath and put my foot into his hands. He lifted me up as if I weighed nothing, and then I was eye level with the window. I pushed it open farther and climbed through, knowing that what I was doing was absolutely crazy. Luckily, my foot landed on what seemed to be a filing cabinet. I jumped down and landed on the floor in a dark room.

  I couldn’t see anything, but something told me I was far from alone. I felt along the wall, my hands shaking from adrenaline. I felt a switch and flicked it, surprised to find myself in an office. Walking over to the desk, I picked up a frame. The picture was of a man with dirty-blond hair and piercing eyes. He wore a stethoscope around his neck and two little boys held on to his legs. A banging made me drop the picture back on the desk just as I was about to look at it again.

  My heart pumped heavily as I walked to the door. Realizing that it was just Everest, I unlocked the door for him.

  “Wow.” He spoke more to himself with a smile. “C’mon, let me show you your prize.”

  I followed him as we walked up a flight of s
teps, and I couldn’t believe what I saw. The puppies woke up almost immediately and wagged their tails in excitement. The little barks seem to awaken the entire room—birds chirped, kittens peeked curiously from out of their box, and a little piglet awakened in a pen. I walked past the cages and saw tiny bunnies nestled together.

  “Ev, where are we?” I asked, laughing as the puppies ran over and attacked my legs with kisses.

  I turned to look at him. He had a bright-blue bird on his shoulder. “We are in the CFE Animal Health Clinic. Currently, we’re in the nursery.”

  A Siberian husky puppy was getting toppled by all the other puppies, so I picked it up in my arms and reveled in its pure cuteness.

  I watched as Everest put the bird back on its perch and walked over to me.

  “I see you met my baby, Tundra.” He took the puppy from my arms and she went nuts, wagging her little tail and giving him all kinds of kisses.

  “You missed me, babygirl?” He held her close and I couldn’t help but laugh. This was adorable.

  He didn’t even care that I saw him baby this dog. “We should keep moving before we wake up Violet.”

  “Who’s Violet?” I asked, looking around.

  “The fattest, meanest cat you will ever meet.” Everest chuckled before putting Tundra down.

  I said my good-byes to the adorable cuties and followed Everest through the door and down the hall. Where could we possibly be going and why did Everest have a key to an animal rescue?

  He opened a door and my breath was literally taken away. The walls were glass filled with water and colorful fish and other aquatic organisms. The ceiling was glass as well, displaying the now star-filled sky. I was literally in an aquarium with a planetarium ceiling, and it had to have been the most beautiful place I’d ever seen.

  “Do you like it?” he asked while grabbing a blanket from one of the drawers and laying it down on the ground.

  “I love it,” I answered while placing my hand on the glass.

  “Sit down.” Everest smiled, and I saw he had all of the food laid out on the blanket.

  I sat on the blanket and grabbed a donut. “How do you even know this place?”

  Everest sprayed cheese on some beef jerky and took a huge bite. He chewed his concoction while I waited for his answer. “It belonged to my uncle, Charles.”

  “He doesn’t own it anymore?” I asked, growing worried.

  “He’s dead . . . he died in a car accident a bit ago. Technically, my aunt owns this place. She runs it.” Oh, so this place belonged to the Finley family—I was sort of surprised, sort of not.

  “Does your uncle have blond hair? And a striking resemblance to Paul Walker?” I asked, remembering the picture.

  A grin popped on his lips. “Yes, that’s crazy you said that.”

  “I saw his picture in the office.”

  Everest nodded. “My uncle was a nerd. He was in love with science—hard core, apparently. He’s the one who named me.”

  “Your uncle seems different from your dad.”

  “Night and day. My aunt Sherma told me stories about how my uncle was a little angel, always caring and loving toward anything. He took after my grandma. My dad was all about profit and probably never loved a thing in his life—my grandfather’s mini.”

  He got up and grabbed a guitar from one of the closets. “My uncle was into music too.”

  “You guys sound a lot alike.”

  “Yeah, we were really close. I miss him. I miss him a whole lot. He would’ve liked you.” He looked at me and smiled, and his eyes looked as blue as the aquarium water. “I actually think about him every day. Recently, I found a . . . book of his and I swear, it brings me a kind of peace I’ve never known.”

  I watched as he strummed the guitar, with the water and the stars around him.

  “What’s in it?”

  “A series of confessions. I started writing my own, too, and it feels good. Sometimes I forget I’m depressed.” His dark joke made neither of us laugh. He quickly glanced at me before focusing back on the guitar.

  “What’s it like to be depressed?” The question flew past my lips, swarming so fast that I couldn’t have stopped it even if I’d tried.

  His fingers halted and he looked up with a confused expression. “Do you actually want to know?”

  “I do,” I said.

  “So, depression is like . . . it’s like feeling so much pain that you feel nothing at all. You are completely empty. You’re a hostage to the patterns distorting your mind, and nothing else matters. You just want the empty to go away. I don’t wish being empty on my worst enemy.”

  He stared ahead at the aquarium, deep in thought.

  “. . . so, you feel nothing?” I asked, eventually, hating how each letter sounded.

  When his head turned to face me, I couldn’t miss the harsh look in his eyes. “No, Bev,” he whispered while shaking his head. “I feel everything.”

  I put my hand over his and he swiftly moved his from under mine to keep his tears at bay. One sniffle, two sniffles, and he was fake smiling again. I knew he was only doing so to make me feel better. I realized in that moment that he’d never really got over it. The pain. Sure, he may not always feel the hurt, but there was a hole in him that lingered. The memory of the destruction that it caused on his mentality would probably never go away. It didn’t matter how much better he seemed or how many smiles were added up. You couldn’t erase a hole.

  “How do you deal with all those feelings?” I should have stopped. This was none of my business. My mouth was moving faster than my mind.

  “You know, after my attempt, the hospital made me meet with a therapist for an hour each day. It felt like one poor attempt to save me.” He stopped and stood up while strumming the guitar a few times. “I’m sure he was a good guy with the right intentions, but he wasn’t going to be the one to save me. You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to save themselves. At the end of the day, I know that only I can save me.”

  “How do you plan to do that?” I could hear the tension in his voice.

  “I don’t know. One day at a time, I guess. Surrounding myself with things that make me feel like myself. Music, black coffee, clay-animation movies, late-night drives, good company, pizza rolls, and you.” He attempted to laugh me off, but it was forced. “Bev, seriously, I’m okay.”

  I wrapped my arms around him. “It’s okay not to be.”

  We stayed like that for a while. I’d never fully understand how Everest felt, but I did know that he was trying. I learned a valuable lesson from Everest that night—you couldn’t erase a hole. You could only fill it.

  26

  Everest

  Confession: my mind paints pictures of her in ways that I shouldn’t see. I don’t like Beverly like that. So why, when the night takes my consciousness, is she all that I think about?

  —EF, October 23, 2018

  Just as I was about to leave, my mom called me back inside. When she walked up with a grin, I was extremely confused. My mother never came up to me with a grin on her face; she usually wore a look of disappointment or guilt. Guilt was my favorite—instead of her being hard on me, she was hard on herself.

  “Yes?” I asked, warily.

  I didn’t have time to react; she gently grabbed each side of my face and kissed my forehead.

  “You need to stop leaving without saying good-bye.”

  I stared at her. Life was growing weirder and weirder as the days passed, and I constantly felt like I was in The Twilight Zone. I didn’t even remember the last time I’d said good-bye to my mother. I came and went as I pleased, and it made her happy when I went—it was sort of an unspoken system we had.

  “Bye.” I took a step back and exited quickly.

  Clenching the steering wheel, I wondered what the heck just happened. Confusion was my new symptom nowadays, and
I was in desperate need of a prescription for sanity. I rushed to 21 Daisies, knowing that Beverly would most likely be disappointed if I was late. I didn’t know what her disappointed face looked like, and I had no intention of finding out.

  Once I pulled into the parking lot, I texted Beverly to tell her I was just about there. Glancing around, I saw that there weren’t that many cars. My favorite slot to perform was on Friday night, because that was when it filled up the most. The morning slots weren’t the most exciting, but at least I got to chill and talk to Beverly a bit more.

  “Look who decided to show up,” Lincoln Bricks said when I entered the café.

  I was convinced he was the best guitarist in the city. He played like he breathed. It was second nature for him and for his brother, Lucky. Their dad was a dentist and their mother was a musician. For a while after she left their dad, they tried to avoid music at all costs. Lucky told me that music was just in their blood, and Lincoln said that when he went to smash his mom’s guitar, he ended up messing around with it for hours and couldn’t help but fall in love. We’d become kind of friends since I started playing. They were only a couple of years older, so it was easy for us to talk. It also helped that it was fun to be around them.

  Lincoln was the brain of the two, and Lucky was the heart. Anyone could tell that in the first few seconds of meeting them—the classic case of the optimist and the realist.

  “You need to stay off Tumblr, bro, everything is becoming poetic to you. You want to be Doctor Seuss so bad.” Lincoln shook his head while I laughed.

  I did a few songs and couldn’t help but realize that I hadn’t seen Beverly. At first, I thought that maybe she was in the break room or bathroom, but after time passed and she hadn’t shown up, I knew something was up.

  Lily was wiping down tables when I asked, “Hey, have you seen Beverly?”

  “Oh, yeah, she called in sick today.”

  “She’s sick?”

  Lily ran a hand through her blond hair and her eyes filled with knowing. “Betty has never been the best liar.”

  Her eyes told me all that they needed to, and I knew that Beverly wasn’t sick. I went over to my bag and checked my phone to see no new messages from her.